I regularly write about examples of what I call "therapeutic distinctions", concepts that are similar but which contain crucial differences that can be utilized to facilitate personal growth. One such distinction is between actively seeking a certain goal and being open to receiving directions or solutions as may gradually emerge or be revealed.
Simply put, "reaching for" a solution or goal involves actively pursuing a course of action. This is directive behavior designed to accomplish a particular objective or task. I think most of us operate primarily in this manner: we decide on a course of action to take in reaction to what we like or dislike and then engage our energies accordingly. Seems pretty straightforward, right?
But there is another often-neglected process that can be crucial in pursuing the best path through life. It involves cultivating the part of our awareness that is receptive to guidance, whether such guidance arrives to us through other people, our own deeper consciousness or from forces that seem spiritually inspired. Such receptivity is a rare commodity on the ego's turf, for it threatens the sense that we know what is best for ourselves. To be open to the vagaries of progressive revelation challenges our faith, for doing so requires a willingness to both not know what to do and to stay in that precarious state of "not-knowing".
On the surface this can seem to be a more passive approach than getting out there and finding a solution to whatever problem is at hand. To be open to guidance that may gradually emerge rather than seeking its lair takes great patience and courage. It's the difference between chasing an animal and peacefully waiting with open hands until it learns you are safe to approach.
The tools of receptivity include quiet, patience, a sense of calm in the midst of turmoil, keen awareness, a well-developed intuition and humility. These qualities are often in short supply in the hustle and bustle of contemporary life. Many of us are more comfortable reaching for a goal than being receptive to guidance.
I find it helpful to consider both activity and receptivity as two distinct forms of energy. Whether it is called "yin-yang", "masculine-feminine", "doing-being", "seeking-receiving" or "reaching for-ready for", the ability to balance both forms of energy is a mighty fine trait to possess.
We have all experienced times when we were sure of the right course to take, only to later regret our decision. There is an old aphorism that goes: "Act in haste, regret at leisure." There is another saying from 12-step programs that says "my best thinking got me in trouble." People who nod wisely at this saying have generally experienced a lot of pain and sorrow as a result of their own decisions. It is often these same people who have learned to listen to others, to be teachable, to follow suggestions, to be humble in the face of turmoil and discord and to spend more time engaged in reflection, prayer or meditation.
I realize this is a very philosophical distinction and I hesitated writing about it for fear it would seem too esoteric for many people. Yet I all too often recognize the unfortunate results of people who either act without a sufficient period of reflection or are stuck in the "paralysis or analysis". Some of the best assistance I can provide a person seeking my help is to develop his or her ability to be receptive and to recognize the "still quiet voice" of true inner guidance.
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