Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Do The Next Right Thing

"Do the next right thing" is an excellent piece of advice for dealing with confusing or complex situations you face in your life. It is often used in 12-step groups but its usefulness extends far beyond people who are working to overcome addictive behavior.

At its heart it is a deceptively simple piece of advice. At any point in time you may have a lot of possible things to do next. At the same time, there are often a lot of right things that you are capable of doing. But there is usually a much smaller subset of choices at the intersection where all those "next" things and the "right" things meet.

Sometimes when I explain this concept to someone for the first time I hold my hands in front of them and wave all ten of my fingers to represent the various options available to a person. I then turn my hands 90 degrees, which lines up all my fingers in a perpendicular row so that the person can only see one of them -- the rest exist, of course, but they are lined up behind the first visible one. The "next right thing" lines up our tasks so that we are not overwhelmed with lots of demands that can confuse or paralyze us. We only deal with one at a time, which is much more manageable.

I find that the "next right thing" is often small. It may be "get a glass of water", or "brush my teeth" or "take a calming breath" or something similar that doesn't take much time but which makes me better prepared for what comes afterward. The "next right thing" is often a small act of self-care or human connection that grounds me with the deeper principles of my life. Or it may just as easily be some small chore. Whatever it turns out to be, the act of asking the question increases my skill at discerning the appropriate response, and I am not as likely to make an ill-advised choice that I may later regret.

So remember, when you are overwhelmed with choices or uncertain which direction to take next in your day or life, practice asking for the "next right thing" to reveal itself to you amid the mass of "next" things and "right" things that vie for your attention. It's like a compass that always points in the right direction.

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