(Note: this is another in an extensive series of posts I've written under the topic of "Therapeutic Distinctions", and I hope you'll read them all.)
The notion that "acceptance is the key" to solving many of the problems of life is a very valuable piece of wisdom that most of us forget on a daily basis. Many people buck up against this concept initially by saying "I can't accept such-and-such; it's just intolerable to me." This response shows some confusion between the concepts of acceptance and approval. To accept a situation is not the same as liking it. It's not necessary to approve of something in order to accept it as a reality.
It's nearly impossible to change anything before you accept it. When I am working with a client who has a belief or attitude that I feel is counter-productive to his or her goals, I have to start by aligning myself in a solid, genuine relationship with that client. I have to accept what that client brings me as a starting point. Only by accepting where we are can we get to where we want to be.
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