Choose the Most Benign Interpretation

Often times we are faced with ambiguous information and are forced to interpret what it means. For instance, look at the picture to the right: do you see a skull or a lady looking in a mirror? You can often see the same situation a number of different ways depending on your mood, your past experiences, the opinion of other people or a variety of other variables. As Anais Nin said, "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are."

If you carefully examine your own life you may come to realize that there are certain situations that you tend to interpret in a particular way, often to your own detriment. If someone doesn't return your phone call you may think they really don't like you rather than that they didn't get the message. You may think that someone driving too closely behind you is being aggressive rather than merely inattentive. The laughing people speaking another language may seem to be making fun of you. It's very easy to take things personally that actually have very little to do with you. The interpretations you choose go a long way in influencing what you think and feel about other people and how you later treat them. Ironically, this in itself is going to influence what they think of you in return, which is how vicious circles get started and maintained, sometimes for years,decades or lifetimes.

My recommendation is to try to take the most benign or generous interpretation of an ambiguous situation rather than a malignant or suspicious view. If there are several choices you could make in deciding what something means, choose the most optimistic one. Of course, you could be wrong sometimes, but that's true no matter what choice you make. Assume the best in others and you will be more likely to find your hopes justified than if you prejudge situations more negatively.

If you practice taking the most benign interpretation you will likely find yourself acting in a more pleasant manner toward yourself, other people and the world in general. I'm not advocating that you ignore obvious evidence leading to a negative conclusion about a person or situation. That kind of blind optimism is a good way to get mugged in a dark alley. But so many situations are influenced by what you decide about them that it's often the single greatest variable of life satisfaction that is readily under your control.

I think one reason why we make negative interpretations of ambiguous situations is an attempt to protect ourselves from emotional harm. However, by protecting ourselves against threats that often aren't really there we shut ourselves off from others, take things way too seriously, and often eventually bring upon ourselves the very pain we fear. I'm not saying you should never guard against the possibility of a negative interpretation, but I do think it's good advice to lighten up, loosen up, and be brave enough to risk being naive rather than cynical.

Let's finish this up with an easy analogy: you wouldn't eat bad fish or drink sour milk, would you? The body intuitively knows to avoid ingesting what is likely to make you sick. Our brains aren't always as wise as our stomachs, however, which is why it's important to regularly remind ourselves to avoid unnecessary negative interpretations if we don't want to get sick from our own thoughts! Before long this becomes a habit you hardly notice, like a low-sodium diet. You don't have to be perfect on this by any means; even a slight improvement of your ability to positively interpret ambiguous data will reap large rewards. It's a classic example of what I've previously written on how "10 will get you 50" (i.e. a 10% improvement will give you a 50% return for the effort).

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